A Philosophy and a Principle on Kids and Tech

So, a few years ago, I started really thinking about the end game here. What do I want for my kids with regard to tech when they leave the nest?

Well, for one, I want them to know how to use basic devices, such as a Smart TV remote, a smartphone, a computer, etc. Okay, that’s a good start. And I really would like for them to know how to Google something correctly (that’s 90% of the problem, right? Just knowing the right thing or word to Google!) And I would like them to be aware of how to conduct themselves in a well-mannered way online just as I expect them to offline. Okay, these are all good starts.

And then when I started breaking these into tasks, the list got long. SUPER LONG. And so I did what I normally do when faced with an uphill battle.

I turned off the problem for the day and just zoned out to TV. It’s too daunting! Where is the playbook I can just copy and use? Well, it’s not that simple. These are not only new uncharted waters, these tides and waves are changing every single day. Can you imagine going to sleep for 30 years and waking up and seeing all these innovations around you? It would take the patience of a saint to teach you everything. And you’re an adult! We can’t expect kids to be any better.

Instead of taking this long list of things to teach them, I decided to try a different strategy. I developed a philosophy and a principle on my kids and tech. These would guide all of the teachings for the future. I don’t need to teach them today how to download a new app. I need to step back and think about if they are given that freedom to download apps without my permission to begin with.

A quick vocabulary lesson.

Philosophy = the What and the Why of your beliefs.

Principle = the How of your beliefs.

I believe that it is part of my parenting duties to raise good citizens of our society both on and offline so that they can thrive as people in our modern civilization in all aspects.

My guiding principle to this is what I call a 'shaken soda bottle' approach. Picture a bottle of soda. It’s been perfectly manufactured and produced for our society. When you open this bottle, it fizzes with delight and bubbles with joy to the top but not too much where it spills. It is a moment of joy. Now, take this soda bottle and shake it. What happens when you try and open it now? It comes raging out of the bottle, spilling everywhere, ruining clothes and you’ve not only lost some of the soda but the quality of the product is not as good. It’s flat. It’s dull. It doesn’t bubble with joy, does it?

Anytime I am presented with a question from my kids, 'Can I get this new game?' or 'Can I see this PG-13 movie?', I picture the soda bottle. If I know one of my children is scared of the ocean, maybe I say no to letting them go see The Meg 2. But, if it’s Barbie, then maybe it’s okay. I’m trying to slowly open the soda bottle on higher-rated movies to help this child developmentally grow at a gradual rate as opposed to just blanket statement saying, 'PG-13 movies are okay for you now.'

This same principle guides how I think about all of devices as I develop and raise, what I hope to be, good citizens for our society.